Well today was okay.

We didn't go to church today, but I did go with mom to the store.

Plus we picked Zabrina up and went to the mall; Me, Kim, and Zabrina. 

It was cool, and actually my first time being there with no parents around. Finally. Anyway, we went in Hot Topic of course first. Zabrina said shes gonna wear a naughty nurse costume for our party. xD Hell yes.

I bought me an earing from this store and Kim got a shirt and Zabrina got this bracelet, and I got this turtle thingie from this balloon animal making dude and I was gonna put it on Zabrina but shes afraid of balloons. Oookay. We took some pictures in this booth too. The pictures turned out okay but for some reason I dont like them. Plus we ate there too, which was good cause Zabrina told me she wasnt eating and I got to fill her up today. Plus I told her if I caught her not eatin, then I was gonna spank her. Anyway it was fun. She came back to our house and I promise I tried all the hints to get Kim to leave us alone together cause- if any of you weird people reading my blog even if I dont know you, read it yesterday, I said me and Zabrina did something when the real truth is that I havent even kissed her on the lips yet. I put it on my grave, my day was full of cleaning up, watching porn, and jacking off. Zabrina didnt even come over. So anyway, I was gonna kiss her today but when I got close to her, she looked at me and said "Youre weird." and I was like "Okay plan Z" xD. And I didnt want her to leave either. Cause as soon as shes gone,  I feel sad and lonely again.  It just like, never helps much unless Im with her every minute. Its not even like liking someone cause its fuckin pathetic actually. So anyway I took a nap and then talked to Hilary. We were goin so good and then I messed it up by mentioning that I lied about me and Zabrina again. I fucking hate myself now and I dont even blame her if she hates my guts now too. Infact I know she does. She prolly doesnt think she does but if she really sat down and thought about it, I bet she could find a million and one things wrong with one stupid little person; Me.   I tried apologizing to her and I pictured how it would be but of course I fucked that up too and it just ended up as some akward silence. Sierra said HIlary was upset and everything about the lie I made up and she said she thinks Hilary isnt eating either. Its more than likely MY fault tooo. It sucks, I just cant do anything right and I cant even trust myself with someone Ive known as long as Ive known Hilary. I sorta just wish she would tell me off so I could finally leave her alone. iiiiiiii meeeeeesssssssssss eeeevvvveeeeeeerrrryyyyyytttthhhhhhiiinnggg uuuuuupppppppppp. I even made a bet with her that we could got the whole week without arguing. Watch me mess that up too...