Well my day was shitty. 

School was annoying. I wore the wrong thing for the day and everyone kept asking me why I was wearing what I was but even more people told me I looked "sharp." xD Kim even said I look sexy. I like that pink shirt cause its paper thin and it shows my biceps real good when I reach. Kayla was lookin and she was all "Dang! You got muscles like a grown man!" I guess thats a compliment.

Plus afterschool, I had to stay like for fourty extra minutes cause I had told Lynn I had practice since I was just guessing but I didnt have it. Lynn drove right past me and didnt see me but it was okay. I got to sit by these cute girls who were waiting on their ride while I did my homework and talked to Zabrina on the phone. I'm finally realizin how to have a good conversation with her. Its cool...

So when I got home, I watched Spongebob and then took a nap. After that, mom took me and kim to the library so I could get my Helen Keller book and then to Walgreens. All the pictures pretty much sucked on that cheap camera except the ones that were taken outside. All I wanted was the one of Zabrina anyway. Woot. 

Today sucked. I'm totally emo right now. 1. Everything on my report card was good but English and I want my Geometry from a 86 to atleast a 90. English was 78. Anyone else might shrug it off but thats not me, and I need my shit straight. Especially English. The easiest fuckin class there is. I'm so pissed at myself. And Cassandra's gonna have to talk to herself until I can get my grades back up. Like usual, the only comment I got from dad was "youre gonna bring it up right?" Then mom kept bein real smartassed with me, I dont know who pissed her off, but it made me feel real bad. And then when I was tryin to tell my sister something, I burnt myself on the stove and that was when my last nerve was plucked. Then to make it even worse, Trey tells me Hilary passed out in class today. She says she's eating but it's really hard to believe her. I swear she better cut that shit out because the next time I hear "dude did you hear about hilary today?" I know it aint gonna be somethin as minor as "she passed out today". And I dont even wanna be harsh or mean to her but I just dont know what else to try to help that poor girl anymore. And I really wish SOMEONE would take it more seriously. That's what sucks about this. I always end up feeling like its all my fault, and even if it is, I hate getting involved in someone else's life like that now.. I don't wanna get caught back up into this stupid computer, especially since Im in highschool now. I wish everyone would just get over their problems and be okay or atleast suck it up.

Current Mood: moody

Well today was boring.

Apparently  we were allowed to dress out today but no one announced it so I was one of the many who was oblivious to it. 

More work in Geography.

More work in Geometry.

I finally got my Geometry and Biology books; BUT now I have four books to carry. Two in my backpack and two in my arms. My biceps are screaming at me for it too. Especially since after and before school I gotta deal with carrying my clarinet. Man this is some bullshit.

Jazz Band practice in Band.

Test in music theory. I guess I did okay.

More work in Biology.

Went to the library in English. 

Afterschool I had private lessons with Rena and it went okay.

Dad was home today cause he didnt go to work since he was majorly hung over. Boring more boring more boring. I talked to Hilary just a lil today. I really didnt talk much. I sorta feel dumb now cause most of what I was saying was stupid. Anyway, Ive got to call Zabrina back and I'm pretty much gonna talk to her until I fall asleep. I hope she can come over again soon. I still gotta try and kiss her.

Current Mood: bored

Well today was okay. I didn't get much sleep cause I was whining all night but I stayed awake.

I was still sorta upset this morning and I was annoyed at school all day and didn't talk much to anyone.

We did work in Geography like usual. We took notes in Geometry. We're doin Conditional Statements...it sucks. No math involved. Band was okay. Mr.Piecuch directed us today so it went much smoother. Music theory is good. I'm catchin up on workin on scales and stuff. Biology was okay. We just did more work. And English was okay. More work as usual.  We got a book report to do October 30. I know what book I'm doin it on too. HELLEN KELLER!!!!!!!! FUCK YES. She's my homey, man.

Damn it I forgot to work out today.

Current Mood: sad

Well today was okay.

We didn't go to church today, but I did go with mom to the store.

Plus we picked Zabrina up and went to the mall; Me, Kim, and Zabrina. 

It was cool, and actually my first time being there with no parents around. Finally. Anyway, we went in Hot Topic of course first. Zabrina said shes gonna wear a naughty nurse costume for our party. xD Hell yes.

I bought me an earing from this store and Kim got a shirt and Zabrina got this bracelet, and I got this turtle thingie from this balloon animal making dude and I was gonna put it on Zabrina but shes afraid of balloons. Oookay. We took some pictures in this booth too. The pictures turned out okay but for some reason I dont like them. Plus we ate there too, which was good cause Zabrina told me she wasnt eating and I got to fill her up today. Plus I told her if I caught her not eatin, then I was gonna spank her. Anyway it was fun. She came back to our house and I promise I tried all the hints to get Kim to leave us alone together cause- if any of you weird people reading my blog even if I dont know you, read it yesterday, I said me and Zabrina did something when the real truth is that I havent even kissed her on the lips yet. I put it on my grave, my day was full of cleaning up, watching porn, and jacking off. Zabrina didnt even come over. So anyway, I was gonna kiss her today but when I got close to her, she looked at me and said "Youre weird." and I was like "Okay plan Z" xD. And I didnt want her to leave either. Cause as soon as shes gone,  I feel sad and lonely again.  It just like, never helps much unless Im with her every minute. Its not even like liking someone cause its fuckin pathetic actually. So anyway I took a nap and then talked to Hilary. We were goin so good and then I messed it up by mentioning that I lied about me and Zabrina again. I fucking hate myself now and I dont even blame her if she hates my guts now too. Infact I know she does. She prolly doesnt think she does but if she really sat down and thought about it, I bet she could find a million and one things wrong with one stupid little person; Me.   I tried apologizing to her and I pictured how it would be but of course I fucked that up too and it just ended up as some akward silence. Sierra said HIlary was upset and everything about the lie I made up and she said she thinks Hilary isnt eating either. Its more than likely MY fault tooo. It sucks, I just cant do anything right and I cant even trust myself with someone Ive known as long as Ive known Hilary. I sorta just wish she would tell me off so I could finally leave her alone. iiiiiiii meeeeeesssssssssss eeeevvvveeeeeeerrrryyyyyytttthhhhhhiiinnggg uuuuuupppppppppp. I even made a bet with her that we could got the whole week without arguing. Watch me mess that up too...

Well my day's been pretty good.

We watched this movie in Geography. I got a one hundred on my fucking Geometry test. I didn't miss ANY DAMN thing. Man I feel smart as hell. I'm signing up for jazz band so I can get two days out of the week where I don't have to sit and be tortured by Mr.Cable. Music theory was okay. Boring, but okay. Now I sit by Kayla and Kimberly. xD Kim was acting so fuckin high today at lunch. It was funneh. Biology was okay. We did some damned assessment. Booo. And English was okay. We left for home room to vote for homecoming queen. bleh. I just voted for some girl who's in my music theory class. There was this chick walkin down the hallway, pointing at everyone and tellin us to vote for her. She was like "Shelby Pittman okay?" I was like, sure, now can I have your number? xD I was kiddin though, she wasnt too cute. She looked like one of those stuck up bitches. So fuck no, I didnt vote for her ass. 

Me and Sheba *my dog* met  Zabrina half way on the way to her house so she could visit. I like walkin wiff her. We stopped at her school so she could get the transfer sheet so she could come to overton but she lost it. Oh well. I told her next year to apply for Overton. I hope she does. 

Anyway, I didnt want her to leave. And I was gonna kiss her but mom was rushin us and stuff. I kissed her on her cheek today but I've done that before. xD She was like "yay i got sugar". Plus I found out where her hot spot is; Right around her shoulders. And I didnt stop massagin them the whole time. She was like "Stop that! You dont see me messin with your hair!" (cause my hair is sensitive incase you dint know) and then she took her hands and ran them through my hair. I swear I turn into an animal when I'm around her. *coughistuckmyhanddownherbratoocough* if only my hands werent always so cold. 

But we've got a half day at school tomorrow and she doesnt have to go home until three so shes gonna come over and I PROMISE I'm gonna lock lips with her. TOMORROW. That is my goal. I'm gonna be thinkin about it all day at school. 

In other news, I talked to Hilary today, well, I talked to Trey. I didnt talk to her on the phone much cause I expected she was gonna get online but Trey was busy on her computer, and I get tired of hearing "youre never online" but when I do get on, Trey's always over there. He said he was busy, so I just said fuck it. I didn't really have that much patience. All I wanted to do was talk to her, not wait for trey to finish emailing. Doesn't he have a computer at his house? 
I just really miss her and I guess I'm not showin it too well but this shit is frustrating. I can't be on my compy all the time like I used toooooo there are more important things. >.< I'm sorry, but its somethin I recently found out. 
And Hilary's mad at me for just signing off on trey, but I don't blame her. I'm a real jackass now anyway. I kinda like my new attitude though. I've always wanted to be one of those jerks.

Current Mood: blank

Well, this week has been okay. I havent made a journal in I dont know how long but lets just summarize;

Over the weekend, I got over my attitude and decided that theres nothin so bad about talkin to Hilary from time to time. Infact we had an actual conversation that day. I found out later that it happened to remind her of old times and she was cryin all night cause she still "likes me." I think she just THINK she does cause one day she wants to talk to me and the next day she doesnt and then the next day, shes excited cause Andrew talked to her. I think she just still likes Andrew.

Anyway that day afterwards, I told Zabrina that we should stay friends for now cause I kept thinking about Hilary. I didnt wanna end up hurtin anyone again. And I told Hilary what I did as a hint that she didnt have to be upset about me lovin someone else, but she was in her Andrew zone, so I totally made a mistake. I should have just stayed with Zabrina. It's weird though cause I love her, but Im not really in love with her. I just sorta LIKE her. I guess that's safer, though. I'm gonna wait til our Halloween party to ask her back out. 

Schools been pretty damn good. All the girls in my band class are suddenly talkin to me and Kayla invited me to sit with them at lunch. xD She's pretty. Her and Kim (not my sister, kim) Kayla's sorta...sophisticated pretty. I can't really explain it, but still. But yeah its cool. 

I'm gonna call Zabrina now...Orr AFTER DINNER! YEAH!

Current Mood: okay

"um yeah this is hilary you dont have to be such a bitch about the whole thing i wouldnt hurt shannon at all and whats gotten into you lately you just said fuck you to me so yeah if your wondering thats why i hung up on you and you know what if me and trey make out its none of you or chelseas buisness so stop bein such a bitch to me about it ok? geeze and you know you did way WAYYY more than flirting so dont even deny it.."

Yep, look who just got cursed out.  I know theres no use in makin a blog just to argue with people about it but its not seeming to get into people's heads.  "I wouldnt hurt shannon at all" sure, Hilary I believe you, but if you wouldnt hurt shannon what the fuck is up with making out with trey? Maybe I wouldnt be pondering over it if it wasnt so confusing. And second, I dont care that you hung up on me. When I said that, I was practically waiting on you to hang up on me and I didnt complain afterwards either. I just called someone else, so that pretty much didn't work. And its not my fault if Chelsea wanted to blurt out that she saw you and trey making out. I didnt ask her that! I wanted to talk about how she was doing. Before I signed off on her, I told her "I dont wanna hear this shit right now." so, thats actually me realizing its NONE OF MY BUSINESS. And I only asked because I didn't think it was true, since shannon is your friend.  And I know I did way more than flirting with Chelsea, but what Im saying is, before I even did ANYTHING more with her, you and some of your friends were already breathing down my neck because of some simple flirting I did, so apparently that's cheating too. You say you know how much drama you have, but it seems like if you guys would use your heads and not make out with other people's boyfriends, maybe things would go a bit smoother. Just an idea. But I am sorry, Hilary. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I made that stupid blog about it, and I'm sorry I was rude to you on the phone. Im sorry I asked you about what Chelsea said, and I'm sorry I made that comment about it. And I'm sorry that I kept begging you to tell me what it was about me. I just figured after all the rejecting you did back when you couldnt get over Andrew, that it COULDNT have been that you still liked me, so I just figured it wouldnt be so hard to confess, but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry for gettin into your business. That's kinda why I wanted to leave. You know you wouldn't be upset if I had just stayed busy like I planned.




Anywayyyyyyyy

School was borin today. We started watchin this movie in Geography "Twister" and we're gonna finish tomorrow. Yay no work. We did more work in Geometry though like usual and we're havin a test Monnnday. In Band, we listened to Mr.PQ talk about the trip we're going on Saturday. Yep, I'm gonna be gone all day until 2 am Sunday. And in Music theory, we learned more confusing shit. Yay. Lunch was okay. I talked to this weird looking chick.... Biology was okay too. xD Candace (incedibly hot sophomore) kept smiling at me during class. Plus I got like five papers back and they were all above/or 80. The one that was 80 was because it was five questions and I didnt get the last one so I just said fuck it. English was borin. Cassandra *crazy goth girl who claims to kill people for money* got in trouble today cause she said she felt like killing everyone in her geography class. Dude infront of us told the teacher and she sent him to the principal cause he threw in "muthafuckin" and the principal came to talk to Cassandra at the end of the day. Before she left, I had drew her a comic of this dude. She always thinks my comics are funny and I love it when she smiles. She didnt open it, but thats sorta a good thing cause I know she reached in her pocket after the principal got done talkin to her and she saw it and laughed about it. 

Mommy picked me up and we went to this store. I bought Zabrina a bracelet. Me and my sister rode our bikes to her house so I could give her the present and return her pants. xD  lol she was wearing a skirt. She hates skirts, but she has some damn good lookin legs. Riding up those hills was a bitch to do on a bike and when we went down, Kim suddenly stopped at the middle of the hill, knowing I was behind her and it was gonna be way hard to stop. Anyway when we got there, Zabrina was outside. Gawd she is so frickin cute... FUCKIN ADORABLE. And she thinks shes so ugly. I dont care if I never convince her about how pretty she is, just as long as I get to see her pretty face every single day of my life. Even if somethin bad happens and I end up hatin her, I'd still look at her picture everyday. We talked a while, standing against the truck parked in her driveway  and she got me and kim some water. I was curious, so I had to lift up her skirt. xD She sure slapped the hell out of me for it. LOL. It stung badly but I can still see it. She wasnt so lovey touchy today but she was still extra cute. We can never hold a conversation on the phone but its so much better when were together. Now if only Kim wasnt there xD. Anyway, before we left, we both gave her a hug. Actually I gave her like three that lasted like a whole minute each. When we were leaving, she was threatening me and I couldnt help but melt in her eyes and words spilled out of my mouth "Shes so cute." xD Man I wish she could see. 

Anyway, when I got home was when I got told off by Hilary. Ugggh.

How do I fix this? And is it even worth fixing?
Part of me wants to beg her forgiveness but the other part of me just wants to leave it at that and walk out of her life forever. 

I swear to God I will never online date again.

So, yesterday was pretty good.

I was busy talkin to Hilary all night and then trying to get her to tell me what was on her mind, so I didn't get to call Zabrina. I wish she could grow up and tell me. It's weird she never likes to talk to anyone about shit.

And I did talk to Chelsea, but from the FIRST time we got to talk in so long, she's already starting to snitch on shit she's seen Hilary do while spying on her; "Hilary and trey were makin out at the fair sam saw it too" So, I signed off on her. 

I really think someone should tell Shannon. It's so not right that one of her BEST FRIENDS is letting her dumbass boyfriend go behind her back and get away with that shit. Everyone keeps saying "oh they were just making out its not cheating" but I got in trouble for just FLIRTING with someone else. I mean, if it aint cheating, shannon could have been sitting right there watching them with no doubt so both of them need to realize what they're doing is wrong. It doesnt matter if Trey begs anyone to do anything, its still cheating and they wouldnt do it if they didnt want to. What the fuck is he gonna do? Point a gun at their head?!

And see, I was careless before Chelsea had to go and tell me this shit. I think I'm just gonna go back to being too damn busy to be online.

Current Mood: blah

Yesterday was alright.

I dont remember much about school, but I remember talkin to Zabrina for some hours last night.

I didnt get to talk to Hilary. She said she was online but signed off but she wasnt there when I got on.

I guess I said a few words to her today but I'm just gonna give up. We're too busy for each other right now anyway.

I don't have much to say now so see ya.

Current Mood: bored

Today was a pretty good day.

I was so late to Geography class cause of my SISTER!!!! But I'm a favored student so he let me sliiiide.

Geometry was okay. We learned how to do more stuff.

In Band, Mr.Cable fussed at us for not being prepared with our scales and stuff.

Music Theory is gettin a lil easier.

Biology was good. Tishara was there- making fun of my accent as usual. xD

And in English, we didnt get around to too many book reports. Hardly anyone did theirs and the girl who did hers gave a lame description of the book. 

It's startin to cool down outside and it feels much better. lol I saw Zabrina walkin home when Lynn was drivin me to my house. She's such a cutie. I have to tell her that everyday now cause she think shes ugly. Anyway I didnt talk to Hilary much today. But thats okay cause I just called Zabrina instead. I prolly talked to her about three hours today. lol we were watchin "Next" together. And after it went off, I printed some surveys so we'd have somethin to talk about. One of them was one of these "List ten friends" surveys and she told me to just put my name all down the list. xD I got to ask her questions like "Would me and you make a good couple?" and she said "maybe" and "would you go out with me?" and she said "yep." annnd "would you ever kiss me?" and she says "Yep." xD She says she likes me "a little bit" but I don't really got no competition.

Current Mood: cheerful

Anyway, after I woke up, I made myself look beautiful. Man, it's weird. I LOVE how I look when I smile now. I'm so frickin CUTE! I kinda feel bad cause I gave my camera away, but I don't need anyone to tell me how I look. So, mom took us to the mall today to use her birthday gift card she got in the mail. When we went to get some food, there was this CoffeeMate drawing for a big bag of cool prizes. We all entered and mom and me got some free coffee. Infact, when you fill out a survey, you got a free pair of socks, a keychain, and a mug- the kind of mug you get from Walmart for like over five bucks. I've already got stuff in my mug lol. Anyway, they did three drawings and Toni was the second to win! lol! When we left, we saw her parents at a grocery store and told them the news. lol it was funneh. Anyway, when we got back, I was ready to get in the pool but no one would get in with me. I was kinda sad but then mom suggested I get Zabrina to come over. So we got her and she got in with me, then Kim got in, then Janiece did, and her brother came over and he got in. We stayed in for atleast 4 hours. I kinda wanted to be alone with Zabrina but the company was so much more fun. We were pretending we were at this drive thru called "Get a Nigga" where you describe your dream mate and get them. It was funny as hell. I also found out Zabrina is bisexual. Wootage. The whole time, Zabrina was either in my lap, backing her ass up on me, or squishing me with her big boobs. xD We were doin this thing where we all got in each others laps at the same time and I was on the bottom and Zabrina was in my lap and they were all shaking their asses and let me just put it this way; I was in Heaven. xD

After that, I didnt let go of Zabrina so she really had no choice to be in my lap or not. I was putting my hand up her shirt the whole time, rubbing my fingers on her hard nipples. She let me do it too. I swear I wanted to kiss her so badly today. She's not that great on the phone but in person, shes my heart throb. Next time I see her, I'm gonna do it for sure. xD I did bite her ear though LOL. Her ear is so SMALL! its like the size of a coin dollar. lol! I did notice one thing though, she's always saying she's ugly when shes not. Even Toni's mom said she was pretty. Shes got beautiful almond eyes just like mine except hers a more almond. She's got a pretty skin tone, a cute wittle nose, and pretty lips. And sure her hair is short, but if she could get it laid down, it would look real good. I know cause the other time she came over and we got in the pool, when she came up from the water, her hair was all down and it looked cute. I like her better with short hair. She's got NICE perky-prolly a D cup- breasts, and beautiful hips. (I know cause she took her pants off. She had a bathin suit on underneath lol.) The next time she says shes ugly, I'll tell her all that. xD Her shirt was so big that, it kept coming off and I was looking at cleavage the whole time. Not to be perverted, but I seriously wanted those nipples in my mouth. Or maybe just every part of her in my mouth.

Current Mood: blah

Okay so, yesterday. (Friday.)

School was pretty good.

In Geography, we had a test. It was kinda hard but I had most of it down.

In Geometry, we learned how to make curves with straight lines and I got a project to do with it. It's cool.

In Band, yeah nuffin much.

In Music Theory, nuffin much.

In Biology, Tishara wasnt there to be angry so the day was kind of incomplete. I got all my work finished, though.

And in English we had a test.

Afterschool, Lynn took us to Dress Code to get mom her present. *whispers* We got her a nice hat and a matchin purse for her to carry. Wootage. She's gonna love it. We spent like fourty bucks too. I told her and she got so mad. xD No, really, she was pissed that we spent so much but she doesnt get it. I like going broke because I spent all my money on my momma. I cant WAIT to see her face when she opens it. Toni stayed over afterschool and ended up spending the night. We mainly just played the Sims. Janiece came over too.

Lynn took us to the bowling alley and we had SO much fun, man. Janiece kept requesting the most GHETTO songs for the jukebox and the only other people there were all older white people. LOL. Plus there was this one white girl, just sitting and she kept mean mugging Janiece. Janiece was getting all fired up about it. Toni, Kim, and Janiece sucked at bowling. Kim let me bowl for her once and I got a strike. xD They just got gutter balls. lol gutter balls... Anyway, Janiece saw this cute dude (he was one of the black ones) who she wanted to talk to and I was tryin to get her to go say somethin to but she wouldnt! xD Then I waited outside the bathroom while they went in to gossip about the white girl and Janiece said after they got done cursing her out behind her back, someone flushed the toilet. xD Toni had been flickering the lights on and off and everything. Then they went back in two minutes later and Janiece yells "ANYBODY UP IN DIS BITCH?!" and then Toni said she saw some woman's feet from under one stall! Janiece said the woman came out lookin scared as hell. We so didnt wanna leave. It was funnnn.

We were having alot of fun until Janiece decided to make another mix CD. She downloaded 18 frickin songs on our computer. Dad was mad too. I was kinda mad cause I was all lonely. I mean, her, Kim, AND Toni were on it. I tried talking to Hilary but she had stuff to do. I was kinda so lonely I wanted to cry. But then I called Zabrina. Me and her talked a while until mom told me to "get off the phone and hang with the company". I would have but the company wasnt real worried about me. Except Toni. lol she was waiting on me to come out and entertain her. She's a good friend. But I wasnt in the mood. I just went to bed instead.

Current Mood: content

School was the same as always. 

 I had my same routine afterschool too. Work out, play video games, play outside, do chores, practice. 

I deleted my myspace just like an hour ago. I'm not going to make another one, for sure this time. Im sick of this all. Im sick of every one of my friends in a different way. I'm just sick of missing people who really don't even exist anymore.

I miss the Maggie who had time for her friends. But in actuality, I'm happy for Maggie. She's exactly how I want it; No more of this crap.

I'm sick of people IMing me and then saying by right after they say hi. If you're busy, don't even bother getting on.

I'm sick of people IMing me just to tell me about how crappy their day was when they know DAMN well they could make it better someway.

I'm sick of people IMing me about OTHER peoples' drama! 

And I'm sick of people complaining and obsessing, and whining over the same people over and over. The same high kid. 

I wish I could just leave... But I cant. Because I really still miss Hilary. I miss the old Hilary. I miss the Hilary that I love and understand. I don't even know the Hilary who I talk to now. She's a totally different person. I don't have much proof but I know what I'm talking about and anyone with a brain can see it. 

I miss the old Hilary;
 xD Read from the bottom up please.


(Hilary) wrote:
> lol no i dont lol
>
> (Gabe) wrote:and
u flirt like ur sister.
(Hilary) wrote:
> > lol u blush to much gabriel lol
> >
> > (Gabe)> wrote: hehehehee *blush*
> > --- (Hilary)  wrote:
> > > lol ok ok its manly there happy?? lol jk but i really do like your voice its cute lol
> > >
> > > (Gabe)  wrote:lol
> > its not supposed to be beautiful! mines supposed to be manly!
> > > --- (Hilary)
> > > wrote:
> > > > aww *kisses him* you do to
> > > >
> > > > (Gabe)  wrote:u
> > > have such a beautiful voice.....
> > > > --- (Hilary)  wrote:
> > > > > awww your so sweet
> > > > >
> > > > > (Gabe) wrote: you  make me feel like a king when u say u love
> me...i  didnt wanna hang up after that...
> > > > > --- (Hilary)  wrote:Hey i was just going to say
goodnight...well i guess i will talk to you later luv ya


So, now the only Hilary I see is this one;

Cheerrays1 (8:57:51 PM): ...

Cheerrays1 (8:58:54 PM): OMFG

Cheerrays1 (8:58:58 PM): ANDREWS A @*&#*(#@^$*^$#

Cheerrays1 (8:58:59 PM): *(#@&4786

Cheerrays1 (8:59:00 PM): e746374632o

Cheerrays1 (8:59:00 PM): 32486236423

Cheerrays1 (8:59:13 PM): From: Niwa The Great
Date: Sep 14, 2006 6:58 PM


hell yea the other day my friend brought duck tape and taped me up and dragged me outside u would think all the cops would notice

Cheerrays1 (8:59:24 PM): HUI@&Y#(*&@(*&#$)&#(*$&#(&$^#

Cheerrays1 (8:59:26 PM): ughh

Cheerrays1 (8:59:28 PM): i cant take this anymore

Cheerrays1 (8:59:35 PM): i told him to stop sending them to me


Now if you don't see a difference in those two, you are fucking retarded. All this time, I've been wondering why I can never say anything to Hilary on the phone and I finally know why; Because as far as I see, all she cares about is Andrew. Sure, I'm not even really that important now, but it wouldn't hurt for me to have a LITTLE bit of her time. But I don't wanna care anymore... I guess thats what "go our separate" ways means. This prolly won't have no affect, and it barely vents my feelings, but I did write like three paragraphs of this at first but it got erased. Prolly cause there was too much cursing and bold letters and name calling. 

Forget all this, I'm gone as soon as I can get this computer off my priority list.

Current Mood: sad

Today was okay.

I got the highest first test school in Geography. A 100. Woot.

Geometry is gettin harder..

Mr.Cable tortured us again in band.

Music Theory was finally not confusing.

Biology was just copying notes.

English was chaotic as usual. 

I got to talk to Hilary and Shannon too today. Hilary's minutes are still restricted. Everyday I just get more lonelier. But I did get to talk to Zabrina, but still; talking to her on the phone sucks because she talks so weird. I hate it in Memphis. It just sucks so much not to have any friends. Its like being at a party where everyone else is having fun and youre just sitting there. Partly because somethings holding you back mentally and partly cause somethings holding you back physically. And then being single is like so depressing that you get tired of talking about it. Its like being in a ditch. You fell in, a few people saw you fall in and you've been in there for a while, eating dirt to survive. Of course the dirt represents the little things you do to try and cheer yourself up. But after all thats over and you see someone walking past the ditch not even bothering to look through, you realize no one really cares anymore. No one listens, no one wants to help,  no one will even throw somethin down. No words of encouragement, no rope, no ladder. After a while, you realize theres a way you can get out, but who cares? Its not like you matter to anyone anyway. Things you smiled about and thought to say, suddenly you decide "why bother?!"

In other newwwwwws. Well there is no other news. 

See ya.

Current Mood: calm

Hello.

I don't remember when the last time I updated was, so I'm just gonna start with yesterday.

It was okay. Janiece was still over and we swam. I hung out with Isreal for a while and I gave him my digital camera. I don't really plan on using it much anymore so I just let him have it. I was talking to Hilary and she kept saying I was retarded for givin him my camera so I ended up just hanging up on her. 

We watched Scary Movie 4 too. It was kinda short but it was funny. I was tired so I went to sleep after we watched it. I talked to Hilary for a bit but she can't be on the phone too much.

Sleep was good.

And I was extra horny when I woke up and Janiece came in when I was jacking off, but atleast she knocked though. I was watching this movie "Zathura" and she watched it too. Fortunately, she sat on the floor infront of the bed so I continued with my "business". She didnt even notice. xD

We went shoppin around afterwards and I got me a new watch. Its gold colored and black and silver. Its damn sexy. I played the Sims for a while and then we got in the pool (me, kim, janiece, and janiece's brother). xD I saw Janiece's boobs so many times cause her shirt kept coming up.

Anywayyyy I dont think I talked to Hilary at all today. I had like four missed calls from her when I checked my phone like ten minutes ago. I tried callin her back but she'd turned her phone off. 

Im bored.

Current Mood: annoyed

Today was okay.

I was real tired this mornin again, cause I was up last night talkin to Zabrina. Except, she sounded high last night and I could hardly talk to her.

We had a test in Geography. The teacher insisted I got a 100 but I prolly got a C. I got my paper back from our Geometry test too. I got a 92, I made some stupid mistakes but I still did good. 

Band was okay. We warmed up and practiced on All West music, only Lindsay wasnt there so we basically sat in the room and talked. Me, and five other girls. xD The second chair girl said she could hardly believe I didnt get atleast second chair. We had a chair test the other day and I kept squeaking and ruined it. Atleast someone realizes how good I am. But our next tape is due on AllWest, and Im going to cream those girls. First chair is MY chair. Music Theory was even more annoying. We had a test and I aced it. 

Biology was okay, and English was okay too. I worked out after school, ran around outside, jumping over things.

Janiece is over again and me and her are gonna chill when I finish this blog. 

I had to make a new myspace cause I cant get in touch with anyone any other way. =\ Still, I prolly wont hear from them.

Current Mood: calm

Well yesterday was okay. 

School was boring and I hardly remember much about it. xD
I remember I stayed up until like 10:49 talkin to Zabrina on the phone.  I was half asleep and was just going "oh" after everytime I heard her stop talking. She says she thinks her house is haunted by her great grandma. Looks like I wont be goin over there. Before the end of this year there are some things me and her should do.

I should atleast get to go to her house.
We're takin her to the fair with us. Woot.
And me and her should go to the mall together.

Yep. It's cool cause my parents both adore Zabrina. xD

Anyway, we had a Geometry test today which I totally got a 100 on. I had my private lessons today too. My teacher was nice, shes got a cute wittle daughter, and her house is pretty. I also made my tape that was due tomorrow. I talked to Zabrina again today too. Im printing out some personality tests to share wiff her cause whenever we talk about what she wants to, I never understand her over the phone. By the way, I dont have a book report due Friday. Its on the 18th. Woot.

Current Mood: blank

Yesterday at school was boring.

So boring. So boring. So boring.

I've got an oral book report due Friday. I've got a Geometry test Thursday. I've got 12 scales due on tape for Friday. I've got a key signature test on Friday, and a scale interval test on Friday. 

Janiece spent the night again. We were outside talking, waiting on mom to get home so she could take me to get some stuff I needed for school. We talked about raising children. I was cracking up so hard because Janiece said if her children were bad that she would curse them out and stomp them. xD

It was funny as hell.

Current Mood: calm

Well today's been very good.

My mom woke me up because she was looking for my school shirts to wash. She also told me Steve Irwin died. I still can't believe it. I know I didn't know him, but I did see him on TV and even last week whenever I wake up, I turn on the tv hoping his show is on. It just sucks, his daughter and son and his wife- even his dog, I bet they're heartbroken. I cried. xD 

Despite all my sympathy, I couldn't stop thinking about Hilary so I ended up jacking off this morning and yellin her name. xD lol.. I stopped watching porn some time ago. It's really affecting me badly because I couldnt get hard unless I was watching porn. Before I did watch it, I could sit by myself and make up my own full fantasy, beginning to end. Now I can barely focus on my own thoughts, but I'm working on it. So, no porn. Not online, not on the tv. Atleast for a while. I really think I can do without it though. Im changing, and its definately not gonna kill me.

So when I got up, I took care of the chores dad had told me to make sure I did. That kept him happy. Me, kim and Janiece didnt do much but hang until mom and me went to get Zabrina. I actually drove to Zabrina's house and back. Mom says I'm getting so good. Zabrina was giggling the whole time lol. We got in the pool too. Kim didnt cause she didnt wanna mess up her hair.  It was freezing. We mostly just floated around and talked. Zabrina looks good now, she looks like she lost weight, and shes got real thick womanly hips. xD Her boobs are nice too. Ive said I dont like big boobs (shes like a c cup or higher) but hers are big but perky. Theyre like just perfect. I know I looked at her boobs about a hundred times. Plus her eyes. She has beautiful eyes. They're exactly like mine but more almond shaped. She was pretty much leaning on me, holding me, or in my lap the whole day. She's a sweet heart. xD 

So about our party. It was awesome. Toni's brother, his girl friend, and their baby came over. Zabrina was talkin about how hot Toni's brother is. xD He is good lookin. We made a pyramid, played truth or dare, watched Pamela (kims friend from school) fall and bust her ass trying to do a handstand, ate, swam, talked, played video games. It was just great. It was so much fun. I didn't want Zabrina to leave. When we dropped her off, I felt like I should have been kissing her goodbye, I told her me and her should hang out at the mall sometime soon. I didnt want Janiece to leave either but she didnt bring any school clothes. Me and Zabrina were tickling each other so much. xD Man I wanted to atleast touch her boobs. Damn my teenage hormones. I would've touched her anywhere if the time really called for it.

It was alot of fun and Im gonna re run the video tape before I go to bed. Gawd it was hilarious when Pamela fell.

Anyway I talked to HIlary before she had to go to bed. Dad was drunk and talking to be for about thirty minutes, so I couldnt get on sooner. I just got on cause Hilary said Maggie wanted me on, but when I got on and said hi, Maggie never even replied. And for now, I'm done bitching about my love life.

Have you heard Keane "Somewhere Only We Know"? That's like the best song in the world.

Current Mood: mellow

Well today was good too.

Church was church.

We picked up dad afterwards and went to Rite Aid to look around. I got a new toothbrush. My other one is kinda new but I make sure I always have a good one. 

Anyway, I'm watchless now. I don't really feel like getting a new one. Why must they always break on me? 

So after rite aid, we went to Home Depot. We bought a new table *400 bucks* for our new gazebo. I was kinda mad cause mom kept talking about how much money they didn't need to be spending but she said it was fine. I hope so. I want my new god damned phone. Plus mom was talking about gettin me a new clarinet for christmas and dad spending every penny is gonna fuck that chance up. Clarinets are like 1400 and up in cost.

We put the table together too. It wasnt so fun cause dad kept cursing but he had a reason to. Some of the parts were kinda short and just didn't seem like they should fit but he got them in there. I was so hungry when we stopped. I kept walking into the kitchen and then back out, telling myself that mom would have food done soon and I shouldn't pig out. My stomache was just talking to me. 

A while after we finished the table, dad checked his voicemail messages and there was one from Janiece (old friend from seventh and eighth grade.). We had been hearing from them lately. Her parents had split up, her mom was in a shelter, and her dad wasnt doin so goo raising her and her brothers. She was wondering if she could spend the night (which we had suggested earlier in the week.) So we went and got her. I remember why she was definately my best friend. I mean, I never forgot, but a little refreshing now and then is nice. We talked alot, and we swam even though the water was cold as hell. I love talking to her. No matter how much stuttering I do, I never get discouraged about it like I did if I was talking to Hilary. And plus, she's really easy on the eyes. I mean, shes not super model skinny or thin but she's got such a pretty face and it's nice to know she'll always be my friend. 
She's in Kim's room playing The Sims 2 right now while I make this blog. I should start making her bed for her. I'm glad shes over. She's really my only real friend that I can depend on. 

I didn't talk to Hilary today. I called her and the phone was answered and then hung up on real quick. I called again and got her answering machine so I guess either her dad was doin it or she couldnt talk. I miss her. I still can't help trying to figure out what I've done for her. I wanna know. Have I helped her, or did I hurt her? I know she'd tell me I helped but it's really for me to try and analyze right now. I lay in bed and tell myself, you know you need to stop trying to figure things out. But still, I have so many things to blame on myself. I mean, it all started with her not letting me love on her or whatever I was trying to do, but I figure I was just a perv and I cant push her to do anything. Its just not right. And since she turned away from me, I was a dick and went to Chelsea. And then when I tried to forget about Chelsea, Hilary had this new attitude. But how else can you be when you've been betrayed by someone you loved? So basically, Hilary never changed at all. I just drove her over her edge a bit. I'm smarter now though and I know all the stuff she ever said about Chelsea was all my fault. I mean, she talked about her before, but if only I had just told Chelsea, "no." It would have been so much easier. That's what I told myself I would do when I fell inlove with Hilary again. I told myself 1. I wasnt gonna make her cyber with me, and if I got horny, I would just deal with it. 2. If I was tempted to cheat, I would do everything but cheat, even if I had to block that person for a while. 3. I was gonna make sure I married her. Everyday she would wake up smiling because of me.. I would be in bed, whispering to myself  "I'm gonna treat her right this time." But I didn't get another time. I know this was so long ago and I need to get over it, but something keeps telling me I still have a chance. She might not even think about me anymore, but theres still that voice telling me not to give up. I wish she could trust me again. I wish I could take away everything I did. 

So there you have it. Another full paragraph about her...Man I fucked up.

Current Mood: sad

So today, it was pretty good. 

I got up and took a bath instead of a shower today. It's always nice to chill xD. I shaved pretty much everything too except my pubes. Whenever I dont talk to Chelsea, I let them grow. I havent talked to her in a while, I can actually comb through my pubes with a thick comb. 

Anyway, Rite Aid is closin down over here so we went there and bought stuff. Then we went to Walmart. Then we went to Kim's friend's house to see if she could come to the party we're havin Monday. Zabrina was supposed to come over today but I dunno what happened to her. I'll see her Monday hopefully.

I finally posted my story today. I got two replies. I was already not feelin so good about it and the two lil replies didnt help much either. I just closed the topic. Its okay though, I'd rather not be at that retarded forum. I guess I'll just let my sister read it. 

I hardly got to talk to Hilary but I guess thats what "going our separate ways" means. Its for the best but I cant help telling myself every night that she was the best girl friend I'd ever had. I know we've both changed so much and it would never be the same even if she did like me again, but I swear if God gave me a chance to go back, I would have changed every single bad thing I did. She made me feel like a king and I messed it all up. Now I can't even get a hold of her for five seconds. And it wouldnt be so bad if it werent for everytime I think about her, this voice keeps telling me I still love her. I dunno whats going on with me, but I cant say that I didnt love her. I was so inlove with her. What hurts is that I actually believed I was gonna be her last boyfriend. I kinda wish I had never met her cause then I wouldnt have been able to do her like that. What makes it even worse is that I'm afraid to go with anyone else now because I know sooner or later, there's gonna be that horrible break up. It just SUCKS!!!!!! I even remember when she did still like me and I was so caught up in chelsea! No offence to Chelsea, but what I did with her was WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG, and if I could go back, I would have never IMed her in the first place. I want so badly to go back to that time where she was just mine and I belonged to her, before all the drama. I know if I was smart enough, I could still have her in my arms. But that's not the case. Unfortunately I'm just another guy. Dumb. Perverted. And irritatingly immature like the rest of em.

Anyway, me, dad, and Kim spent about three hours outside putting up this Gazebo outside. Its a pretty one too. Putting it up was fun because I got to be the one who read the instructions and helped dad put it together, and he didnt get all pissed off and cursing like he usually does when we're putting something together. 

Now I'm just chillin.

So.
Goodnight.

Current Mood: lonely

Well the past two days has been good. 

We've been doing these retarded assignments in Geography which no one really understands, but I still like my teacher. xD The girls infront of me were laughin so hard when he bent down infront of them with his big ass right in the way and then suddenly he backed it up. LOL. Anyway, I do like what we're doing in Geometry. It's very complicated. It's hard too but I know how to do it. The only thing that throws me off is when X equals a decimal and then I have to apply the formula. I usually do it right but that makes me feel like I messed somethin up. And yeah, I still like my math teacher too. Now for Band. Wednesday, Mr.Cable tried to drill us on our B flat and B scales. He made us play it over 35 times. Gosh. And then he gave us a test on it the very next day. Of course I practiced but you can never be good enough for him. I figured I'd be pretty good since one girl was going "We gotta play it two octaves?!?!?!" I was like yep. High C sharp. Anyway, he didn't even get to the clarinets because the bell rung. "You got lucky." He said. xD He sounded mad too. I didn't practice last night, but meh I dun care what chair I am right now. It's just the first six weeks. I'll let someone else hold the throne and then shoot them down in their place. Music Theory was okay except I totally forgot all about my homework assignment to make key signature flash cards for Mr.PQ. He's a good teacher and I felt bad for forgetting so I made sure I did good. 

Anyway yesterday was Maggie's birthday. She's fifteen now. We were gonna have a chat and all but I didn't think she was gonna get on, then Hilary had to go for a while and Maggie's computer threw up on her and I was tired so I just went to bed. I know it was rude but I'm kinda glad I'm not such a computer junky anymore. I could use some new friends, though. I could meet them at school but I dont really like that because at school, you fit into categories and that just aint cool. In other news, that crush on Maggie has gone away already. I dunno why, I guess cause I hardly get to talk to her. That sucks though. I must be real screwed up now if I cant like someone for more than two days.

I need some twenty pound leg weights now. My muscles are gettin soft and strapping dumbbells on my legs is kinda stupid. My biceps are aching because of the training I did yesterday. But I'm glad cause I can lift thirties now. 

I met this girl at school (forgot her name) when they gave us books. I gave her my Invader Zim keychain thing. She's alright. She said she was gonna kill someone but ya know, thats how all the white people are here- Gothic, emo, mad at the world, and all. She had the biggest bite mark on the back of her shoulder too that she said her boyfriend did. *coughfreakscough*

Current Mood: okay

Yesterday was okay. I made sure I practiced my clarinet. 

I wanted to talk to Maggie so bad but she had alot of homework. And I mean alot..I felt sorry for her. Its not fair cause I hardly ever get homework in more than one class. I wished I could help her. 

I didn't really get to talk to Hilary so much. I did on the phone but I had to go and when I called her the second time, Diffy had told me she was already talking to someone so I didnt wanna interrupt anything.. Plus the only time her account signed on was when Trey and Diffy were using it. Diffy was trying to get me to watch some damned cheer video cause she said Chelsea wanted me to see it. I watched half of it but they dont understand that I can't identify one little white girl among other thirty flipping white girls and they're constantly moving. I don't have super vision eyes. 

I had this wet dream about Chelsea too last night.

As soon as Mom got home, I went to sleep. I slept all the way to the next morning. Hilary was upset because that damned gossip girl made a big paragraph about her in her "gossip" update. =\ I told Hilary to just ignore and block her but she wants to know who it is. I didnt wanna argue about it so I just said okay. But even that was a mistake. She ended up just signing off on me. Good going, Gabriel. 

Anyway my story should be posted somewhere soon- like before or by the end of this week. I'm excited and I can't wait.. 

And I need some new friends too. Maybe I'll get some when I post my story.

Current Mood: lonely

Well today was pretty good. 

I slept past the time that I wanted to but that was okay cause I still got to talk to Hilary. Only for a little bit, though. 

School was good. We did more work in Geography and I learned something new in Geometry. Band was okay. Mr.Cable drilled us on our chromatic scale. He made us do them really fast too. I can do mine pretty fast but not from the note he makes us start at. When he asks for it, Im gonna start where I can show off. Music theory was boring and Sherman was boring. Lunch was okay.  Chicken nuggets. Thats what Hilary is- a little chicken nugget. 

So anyway, I talked to Hilary a bit, watched TV, worked out, and worked on mah singing voice some. Most importantly I got to talk to Maggie! On and off, it probably added up to atleast an hour and a half. It was sooo much fun. I kept thinking about her in school today too. I wish she could get on more often. I like her cause she's usually happy no matter what. That's what's so great about her. I sang to her too. Im sick as a dawg and my voice is rough but I still did good. I sang her that song 'I'll Be" by Edwin Mccain. Wooot. She said it was "so good" and I have a good voice. Woot. Hopefully she wasnt lyin. I let her hear my clarinet too. She thinks I sound pretty. 

Im really horny now though. I want Maggie so badly. It's hard to describe. It's like if someone tells you that there's this new chocolate that is the BEST thing you will ever have the pleasure of tasting, but you've never had any. And now the chocolate keeps showing up and you want it badly. You just want to know what it tastes like. lol like captain jack sparrow said "I do want to know what it tastes like."

Wow I haven't made a journal in a while.

Anyway nothing much is new. I don't feel ugleh anymore cause I finally got my skin back to light. It's so purdy. I'm really sick, though.

We had a "fun" chat last night with me, maggie, and hilary and then andrew came in and sorta..went crazy and then we went skinneh dippin and Diffy came in too. I guess outside the chat it didn't go too well cause Hilary and Andrew wont say anything to each other, and she's still upset about it now. We tried all we could to cheer her up. =D I'm still here though!

But now Maggie thinks I hate her. No one understands what I say o.o.

I guess all I can do for Hilary is be supportive even if I dont understand what da fuck is goin on. 

I dont feel like making a journal anymore.

Current Mood: bored

Today was okay. I still don't like my new teachers but I gotta live with it.

I did my homework in homeroom like I planned. Geography was okay. We did more work. We learned in Geometry too. I got homework but Im doin it homeroom. We didn't even have our chair test. We played a scale for a grade but not for chairs yet, and Mr.PQ aint gonna make us sing it. Haha Mr.Cable, tryin to embarass us. Music theory wasnt so confusing because Mr.PQ got into a long fuss about Ancient times and wars and stuff. Geeze he can talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. My throat is starting to hurt so I think I'm catching Sherman's cold. Asshole. Biology was annoying. That woman is so weird...I got to work with this cute girl on our lab project though. She actually asked me to work with her. Awesome. English was okay. We had to do this damned crossword puzzle. I hate those. Especially when they just give you the word and you gotta place it in the right spot. That's retarded!

The ride with Lynn and Toni home was kinda quiet. Surprisingly.  I was sleepy and didnt feel like talking. But when I got home, I worked out since I hadnt in a while. I talked to Hilary and totally screwed that up. Katie made me a new screen name though. THANK YOU KATIE!!!!! IM GRATEFUL.

I talked to Hilary again after dinner and it was a nice talk. Shes so cute. I dunno about dating her though. I miss the old times but we dont even really seem like we'd match. I mean, shes the girl in class whos talking non stop and Im the dude whos sitting there trying to listen to the teacher and shushing the other people. We're just so much more different. I mean Im not shy like I used to be- I'll talk if you start a conversation, but I'm usually just quiet. I like it that way. It can never be too quiet in a room. Never. Not for me. I love quiet. It's so assuring. But still, I feel so much chemistry with her when we talk that I feel that if I just made sure I was in a good mood when I talked to her, that we could really click. I dunno. I just wanna let things sail smoothly for now. 

Goodnight yall!

Current Mood: happy

Yesterday at school was okay.

I had mom running around the school that morning to help me change my classes, and get my supplies back from my former teachers. My biology teacher said she didn't wanna lose me cause she could already tell I was a good student...Damn it. I hope I still get to disect stuff. 

We did work in Geography. It was really easy. And we couldn't do any work in Geometry, but my teacher was glad to have me back because he "likes my work". Awesome. We had to leave the class cause they were working on the air conditioning thingie.

Band was okay too. We're still on the warm up, but not too far from finishing. They're making us sing the warm up notes too. We have to play the B flat scale two octaves AND sing the warm up for chair positions. Dang it. I don't want to.  We just sat around in Music Theory because we had this substitute. I just talked to Sherman, plus we talked at Lunch. Biology was okay, the woman already had me doing work so I had homework but Im doing it in Homeroom cause we spend years in homeroom. <.< Im still in that English class, though so I don't know what the deal is about that. Raven is in my class, though. 

I got to talk to Hilary too last night. Even though we run out of stuff to talk about and she says "brb" every five minutes, I lub talkin to her. Now if only I could love on her. xD

I started a new story yesterday. Yay...Anywayyy. Im bored. Hilary get your lil ass online.

Current Mood: mellow

So yesterday at school was fucked.

They gave us all new schedules, even a new homeroom. Our teacher is a fag too. He's okay, he's just really sweet. We sat in there for like an hour which seemed to be forever. Everyone had atleast something to change, and everyone was disappointed. There was this one boy going "they better change my schedule! they dont know me!" and I was thinking to myself,  "You dumbass, what the fuck are you gonna do about it? Go and whine about it to your momma?" Anyway, they did keep me in my class, Geography with the same teacher, thank God. But not only did they have the schedules screwed, the first few classes were shitty because they only lasted like ten minutes. I went into the hallway to call my mom to tell her to come pick me up but she was on her way to work so I was screwed. I stayed in the office during the te minutes of "Algebra 1" WHICH I ALREADY TOOK LAST YEAR. I was trying to wait on my new schedule but apparently they were all procrastinating with it. They only had like twelve papers in the box that they could have just corrected right there, but no they wanted to play Solitare on their fucked up computers. 

So when I left, it was time for Band. We never get to do much in there cause 1. Mr.PQ can bust his lips up like burning rubber on wheels because of his big motorized mouth. 2. Because the other teacher spends so much time on the frickin warm up. 3. We all have to tone our instruments because the other clarinets can get the higher notes out.

And in music theory, it's damn confusin because Mr.PQ doesn't slow down when he talks so that he can teach us stuff! No one understands this shit! They're just acting like they do! I understand it, but geeze, not until yesterday and he's been tryin to teach us that since Thursday. Sherman was sick as a dog. I hope I dont catch whatever the fuck he had.

Physical Science was very aggravating. I was in the class with this girl I knew from 6th grade and had seen her all the time at Middle School. The damned bitch didn't even care to wave, just stare with this pissed off ugly face. It actually sickened me to be sitting in there with those stupid people watching the teacher point at stuff I already know about; The Conversion Table.  I learned it last year.

And English was okay. The teacher was nice and understood some of us weren't supposed to be in there so she just let us chill. While I was pointing out this name on the roll, this girl comes up and grabs my necklace going, "DUDE Invader Zim kicks ASS!" and the teacher was standing right there. xD But she was white, of course she gets away with it. Plus I met this other girl, Moira. She's nice- white too. I knew we'd get along from the second she called Raven a dork. Since we were both in the wrong class, we passed notes. I started it of course. "Let's conversate- if you're not busy that is. Either that or I could continue sitting here looking lonely/stupid." So we did talk. It was cool cause we got to a page and the back. We talked about hair, bands, shows, and after some talking, I introduced myself. Listen guys, I know some of you might be straight forward, but introducing yourself at the very first minute is a NO-NO. It'll make her think you're hitting on her and you probably won't get her name back unless you're seriously hot and she gets hypnotized in your eyes.

So anyway I deleted my myspace yesterday. It's way too boring now. I try to give all my friends comments at some point of time- like picture comments, or blog comments but I never get any. Actually I dont even think some of my friends even really like me- not because of my lack of comments. It's just random things they do. Like Katie, I totally don't think Katie likes me one bit. And I know I annoy the hell out of Toni cause I sorta ignore her now but it's kinda cause of the way she talks to her mom. It makes me mad. And I kinda even think Maggie is mad at me for something. I haven't talked to Chelsea in so long so she probably doesn't remember how to spell my name. And Andrew- well I know Andrew and me are cool. I need to be nicer to him too. And I know Hilary likes me. No matter what she says, she can't deny it. xD And Sabrina too. If she doesn't like me, then I don't know what anything I just said means. 

Anyway it turns out I did get Hilary in trouble. Her dad is trying to find out who's number mine is and if I answer any of Hilary's calls, we'll probably both feel his fatherly wrath. I really just want my phone number changed. I would miss Hilary's pretty voice, though. So in other news, today I'm going to school and I'm gonna get my RIGHT schedule because ya know why? *sucks thumb* I bwought my mama. xD

Current Mood: happy

So yesterday, I woke up from the weirdest dream in the world. Try and guess what it was about. Just try...give up? It was about Hilary's nipples. I'm serious. The whole dream was like a slideshow presentation focusing on her chest. xD I have the coolest dreams. 

Anyway we didn't go to church yesterday.  I guess mom wasn't feeling up to it. We did go to Walmart, though. I finally found me a jacket for school too. I just wanted a simple black zip up jacket with a hood! You go to all these expensive stores and they dont have it, but you can always count on Walmart. Shopping at Walmart is fun, except for the embarrassing things mom always does when we get there; For example; yesterday, and many days before that, she got in the "20 Items or Less" check out, knowing damn well we had near fourty things in our basket. I can see it, Kim can see it, everyone behind us can see it. I love my mommy so much.

Anyway, after that, me and Kim had to do some more work in the yard. It was way to hot, I just jumped in the pool after we finished. Then Kim got in- ON HER OWN WILL WTF! Then mom, then toni and Lynn came over. At first Lynn wasnt gonna get in but her bathing suit was already here. Kim said she felt sick and got out. Then when Toni got in, she got out right quick. So I was stuck with the moms. It was okay though. I'm getting so much more mature, I'd rather be out somewhere with the moms than watching Toni dive off the ladder of our pool even after I told her not to. I got out with my mom cause I wanted to go kick toni's volleyball around. I kicked it over the fence again. I should try out for soccer...Nah. 

Later on, I went with Lynn to pick up some extra food from the store for our cookout. xD I went in my underwear and a wet shirt. They're so tight on me, though, you can't tell they're not just tight shorts. Toni was all surprised when I was going with Lynn. She was like "Youre going?!" and Im like hell yes yall are boring. They wouldnt even stay in the pool with me! So I left. Mwahahaha.

My sister beat me to the computer cause it was storming outside and she shouldn't have been on it anyway, but she let me talk to Hilary for a lil bit. I still don't know whats up with her dad, but I just hope I didnt get her in trouble again. But I probably did.

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Last night was a pretty nice surprise. My old friend Griselle finally got back to a computer and actually IMed me. We talked for a while too. 

I had a million dreams last night.. I had this hawt wet dream about Hilary, then I dreamt I was dating a girl I met at school the other day, and I remembered the dreams when I woke up but now I dont remember too good. 

Mom woke me up though cause Dad wanted us to do some work outside. It was so hot. Kim wouldnt let me spray her cause she didnt want her hair messed up. She could die from heat exhaustion, but as long as her hair looks nice it's allll okay. Anyway I hopped in the pool after we finished. It felt so frickin good too. Alot better than it did outside. 

Anyway after that, mom took us to the mall. I got some new pants for school and an Invader Zim keychain. Its got Zim riding on Gir in his jet mode. It's cool. I took the link off and attached it to the chain from my dog tag so now I have an Invader Zim necklace. Woooo. I'm pimpin.

When mom left for work, I took a nap. I was out for some hours, dreaming about the ultimate Spongebob video game..I wish I could suggest it to some video game creator cause I'd get rich. Even though I was only seeing one sceen, but it looked fun.  Anyway, after mom called and woke me up, I went outside. It was about four something. I started playin kickball with Toni's volleyball for atleast an hour. I let the dogs out of their pins, soaked the flowers, and even watered the grass. I sweat so much. Dad was laughin at me cause of it. Anyway, I was actually waiting on mom to get home from work. I stayed outside kicking that damned ball for atleast two hours. It wasnt until 7:40 that I remembered mom's not getting off until 2 AM this time. I was deeply devastated. 

Anyway, I watched Invader Zim. Oh, Hilary called too. She wanted to tell me not to answer the phone if her dad called me. I'm getting kind of sick of her dad.

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